USA Africa Dialogue Series - Fwd: Another Nigerian Man Killed Wife In Houston,Texas [AMAZING HORRIFIC STORIES OF ECONOMIC AND CULTURAL CONTEXTS OF NIGERIAN MARRIAGES IN THE US]

Hi Dr. Kas and all Nigerians in Diaspora,

 

Folks, I am Dr. (Mrs.) Grace Onovo  a victim of domestic violence which led to my separation/divorce from my Nigerian husband. There has been an epidemic of murders in Nigerian homes in the US over the last few years. Let's free the mothers of our children from ultimate abuse.

Please read these comments on the articles on Domestic Violence through the eyes of some Nigerian men and the eyes of the abusers----- The dangers of one sided story from the men’s comments.

 Analysis of the stories indicated pre-meditated murder and like I said, the day the victims were killed was not the day the violence started.

The victims are dead, murdered in cold blood and their children robbed of their mothers’ love, nurturing and caring because, the selfish wicked, angry and controlling fathers and murderers felt disrespect, and to show their victims that they had power to kill them, did not make them powerful after all. Does that still make them powerful? Because they rot in jail, powerless, like a cooked spinach, after the killings of their victimized wives.

Regarding the comments on these articles, are they saying that the US Justice System is a failure for these murderers? The writers do not know the full stories and the incidents in their one sided stories, like the American Judges and legal system knew it.

 

Unfortunately, the stigma attached to the preventable disease Domestic Violence gets the victims trapped in the violence until they become yet, another statistics. The victims are not empowered to get out or file for divorce because of the gossip it will generate.

 DAMN THE GOSSIP VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, YOUR LIFE IS WORTH MORE THAN GOSSIP. LET THEM GOSSIP BUT THE VICTIMS WILL STAY ALIVE AND CARE FOR THEIR CHILDREN.

 OVER TWENTY NIGERIAN WOMEN WERE ALREADY KILLED BY THEIR HUSBANDS HERE IN THE USA.

. THE LATEST KILLING WAS ON DECEMBER 27TH 2013 IN NEW JERSEY. A 33 YEAR OLD NIGERIAN MAN STABBED HIS 26-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN WIFE THAT WAS 9 MONTHS PREGNANT TO DEATH-----FOR WHAT?

When will Nigerians STAND UP AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SAY ENOUGH?  IF THE MARRIAGE DIDN'T WORK,--IT DIDN'T WORK-----GET OUT OF IT. YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST ONE AND YOU WILL NOT BE THE LAST ONE WHOSE MARRIAGE FAILED. WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT? YOUR LIFE OR THE MARRIAGE?

As Nigerians have a fancy name for it, they call it family-matter and they look the other way and call the family "DYSFUNCTIONAL", end of story! WE CAN'T IGNORE IT ANYMORE!

 Until another Nigerian family buries their son or daughter, and the children end up in foster care as one parent is in  the grave and the other is in jail, and Nigerians talk a little bit, and the case is closed in addition to the gossip the disease generates.

My Nigerian brothers and sisters, DV hits both affluent and non-affluent homes----

EVERYBODY CHIP IN, INCLUDING THE CHEERLEADERS OF THE ABUSERS AND MURDERERS!!!!!

 How do we deal with this killer DISEASE (domestic violence)? How do we stop these murders who walk around with blood in their hands, from killing their spouses and destroying their own families?

we can no longer be quite. ENOUGH of the killings of our Nigerian sisters, their children placed in Foster Care, and robbed of their mothers’ love, breast milk and Nurturing, because their angry, controlling, power-hungry, and wives paychecks thirsty fathers, felt disrespected and jealous of their wives progress. These men certainly have low self-esteem. IF THEY CALL THEMSELVES REAL MEN, SHOULD THEY NOT GO OUT AND FIGHT FELLOW MEN IN THE STREETS OF AMERICA, INSTEAD OF THEIR WIVES,—WOMEN THAT THEY HAVE TURNED INTO THEIR SLAVES?

Nursing school is open for both men and women. Why don’t these lazy-ass men go to nursing school so they can work twelve hours seven days a week, standing on their feet and make that dollars and see and feel how the nurses (wives) make the dollars that they killed them for?

 Why do these men run to Nigeria to marry a nurse or marry the one they will send to nursing school to slave for them and be their meal coupons? These men never loved their wives. They are slave masters without conscience.

Tell me of millions of descent Nigerian men who are out there working so hard and taking care of their wives, children and families, irrespective of how much paychecks their wives bring home?

Why can’t these lazy-ass ones be nurses and make money to take care of their wives, children and families like their fellow decent Nigerian men do?

Dr. Grace Ego Onovo

 

 

Excerpts from different perspective

 

Jan 23 04:32PM

Ogbuonyeiro is correct; Ukaegbu minimized the scourge. The havoc that some

Nigerian women wreck upon some Nigerian men in America, as described

in this article, is no longer doubtful; it is ubiquitous in almost every

city. If you have not met a Nigerian man who has been subjected to the type of

indignity chronicled in this article, then you most likely do not associate with

Nigerians. I can tell you that I know (not from story retelling, rather in real

life) of 5 Nigerian men whose wives subjected to similar or worse

situations described in the article above. If I were any of these men, I could

not rule out acting like those Nigerian men chronicled in the

article.

Granted that I blame these men for going to Nigeria to marrying young girls

they knew not from Adam, what shocks and galls is that most of these

women are enabled into these behaviors by their families all the way from

Nigeria. As I write now, a Nigerian fellow I know is battling the same

problem with a wife he went to Nigeria and married eight years ago. For six

years that they lived together, she never became pregnant but after making a

brief visit to Nigeria in late 2011, she bore him a child in 2012 who looks

nothing like him. Since then, a young man she calls her cousin and who looks

just like the new born kid has been visiting and staying with them from Nigeria.

In short, this fellow's situation is as demeaning as any of the stories narrated

in the article.

 

Mazi Ukaegbu erroneously assumed that these women got into these marriages

out of love. No, 99.9% got into the marriages just to get to America. Their

patterns are almost the same: feign being in love; get married to these suckers;

get to America; get a career going; feign domestic violence and throw them out

of the houses they owned while you were a nobody in Nigeria; etc. Annoying

to me is that these men were too stupid to have gone home to marry women who

were no Mother Theresa -- one other fellow that I know had, in 1998, gone home

and married a woman who was practically a hooker. She was born in 1961 but she

lied about her age to this fellow by converting the 1 in 1961 into a 7. She bore

this fellow no child after years of living together (mostly because she was

advanced in age by the time she got here in 2002). Within three years of

arriving here and getting a job, she pulled the domestic violence, rape, and

imprisonment route and took over this fellow's house while he fought

off the criminal charges. She now lives with her old flame whom she had left in

Nigeria but has now brought in here after divorcing the owner of the

house.

 

The case of an Edo guy in Queens (new York) saddens me the most. This

fellow was financially successful in Nigeria before coming to America

(through Green Card lotto). He was a widower with four adult children, all

of whom were professionals (a lawyer, a pharmacist, an engineer, and...I don't

remember the last one's profession). What shocked me the most when I met him (in

2005) was that he was no older than 50 years then. While in America, his

engineer son manned his businesses in Nigeria. In about 2000, he bought a house

in a cozy neighborhood in Queens and took in his girlfriend, a Yoroba widow with

three children. At the time he was brought to me, the Yoroba woman had accused

him of raping one of her daughters and on account of that had the police throw

him out of his house. This guy squatted at the house of his cousin in the

Bronx but was still paying the mortgage in his house. While the case dragged on

the woman moved in a boyfriend, yet the Edo fellow   paid the

mortgage. The first advice I gave him was to stop paying the mortgage but he

refused on the account that he did not want the children to be homeless or live

in squalor as they did before he met their mother. To make a long story short,

before his trial for statuary rape and endangering of the welfare of a

child could commence, the child that accused him felt overwhelmed with guilt and

confessed to her school's guidance counselor that her mother had coached her

into saying those things, in order that they could get her uncle's house (the

children called the Edo fellow uncle). She enumerated that her mother had told

her that their uncle was about to throw them out (a total lie) and they would

have no choice but to get into a city shelter for the homeless. But if she

claimed that he had been sexually molesting her for sometime (performing oral

sex on her and asking her to reciprocate on him), they would be able to

avoid going into a homeless shelter.

 

Bottom-line, the Edo fellow was exonerated following this revelation and

the stupid woman was prosecuted for endangering the welfare of a child, filing a

false police report, and conspiracy (with her boyfriend) to commit fraud. They

were convicted and to the best of my knowledge, her boyfriend is paroled but she

is still doing time. Although this guy eventually lost his house, what shocked

everyone of us was his Mandela-like magnanimity -- he took in those children

instead of letting them end up in foster care. I have not seen him in a

while but I understand that everything works out well for him and the

children. This guy is not stupid, he is just a kind human being who

was taken advantage of by a devilish Nigerian woman. Had he lost his

mind and killed this woman, would anyone blame him?

 

I've got more stories but I am stopping here for now. The point I

needed to put across was that some Nigerian women in America are as corrupt

as Nigeria. They do not look back when they inflict their wickedness and

corruption on Nigerian men. By no means am I saying that these Nigerian men are

choir boys, I am only saying that they do not deserve the degree of ridiculing

and demeaning that these women subjected them to. Even though my last

sentence is in the past tense, let it not mislead anyone into thinking that this

behavior is not happening to lots of Nigerian men as I

write………

 

 

 

Reject Religion; Revive Reasoning!

 

In a message dated 1/23/2014 7:00:42 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

 

Folks,

>Subject: Re: [NIgerianWorldForum] An Epidemic :Nigerian Men Killing their Nurse Wives (RN) in the United States

 

> 

> I ask the same question - Does this really happen? But I know Nigerian women are wrecking Nigerian men left and center Those I know, trained there future wives in universities at home, bring them over, only for the woman to claim abuse, and go for the man's pension, alimony, patrimony and every money. Some get pregnant outside, and dump the poor baby on the poor man...who finds out and revolts. Yes, some men are bad, but I have now known and heard about more bad women, than bad men. Guys watch out for the little butts you go hunting at home. Once they come over, they already know about all the monies, yours, and they are going for it, every which way. Some of them are outright criminals. Those I am aware of, even some where the criminal woman hires a Nigerian lawyer, I asked to be present in court to testify on behalf of the man. Some day, it will happen that I will be in court to tell the American judge what little butt women coming

from Nigeria do to young men who struggle mightily to bring them over for life as married men, only to be wrecked by the little butt criminals. The little butt women are EVIL...and I do hope those of them who do this shall have their recompense. I know a young man who is now totally broke only within a year of what he thought was a wife arrived here. The signs are there though, but some us men don't reason. When a little butt arrives and insists she wants $500.00 Phone. Yeea? For what? Me? I get her the Jitter Bug. Don't like it. Return ticket back home. Yeye things.

 

> 

>Does this really happen?

>It often comes to Nigerian men living in the US as a rude shock when their wives become the household’s bread winner. Having been accustomed to the docility, domestication, subjugation and outright terrorization of women back home in Nigeria, many Nigerian men are astounded when their wives assert their financial, behavioral and social independence. It is commonplace for Nigerian men to take important family decisions without consulting their wives; to travel out of town and indeed out of country without consulting their wives. Some do not even bother to inform their wives! It is not a big deal for Nigerian husbands to answer phone calls from their girlfriends while lying in bed with their wives; to buy expensive gifts for their girlfriends and making only perfunctory, casual attempt to conceal such gifts. It is nothing strange for Nigerian men to, in fact, bring those girlfriends to their matrimonial homes while their wives are home!

(Can’t think of any guy who would do anything like this.)Some Nigerian men think they have the carte blanche to do what they want because they are the bread winners. What’s the wife going to do to them? Beat them? Leave them? Leave them after one, two or three children? Who’s going to marry her? So Nigerian men

think.

 

 

>Posted: Jan, 22 2014, 2:01PM

>"Yes I have killed the woman that messed up my life; the woman that has destroyed me. I am at Shalom West. My name is David and I am all yours.”

>Those were David Ochola’s words during his 911

(U.S. Emergency Number) call to authorities after shooting dead his 28 years

old wife, Priscilla Ochola, in Hennepin, Minnesota. The 50-years old husband

was tired of being “disrespected” by his wife, a Registered Nurse (RN) whom he

had brought from Nigeria and sponsored through nursing school only to have her

make much more than him in salary - a situation which led to Mrs. Ochola

“coming and going as she chose without regard for her husband.”  The

couple had two children – four years old boy and a three years old girl.

 

>In Texas, Babajide Okeowo had been separated from his wife, Funke Okeowo, with whom he resided at their Dallas home.  Upon the divorce, the husband lost the house to his wife, along with most of the contents therein, as is usually the tradition in U.S. divorces where the couple still has underage children.  Mr. Okeowo, 48, divorced his wife because not long after she became a RN and made more money than him, she “took control” of the family finances and “controlled” her husband’s expenditure and movement.  The husband could no longer make any meaningful contribution to his family back in Nigeria unless the wife “approved” it. He could not go out without her permission. Frustrated that his formerly malleable wife had suddenly become such a “terror” to him to the point of asking for in court and getting virtually everything for which he had worked since coming to the US thirty years prior, the husband got in his vehicle

and drove a few hundred miles to Dallas to settle the scores. He found her in her SUV, adorned in full Nigerian attire on her way to the birthday bash organized in her honor.  She had turned 46 on that day.  Mr. Okeowo fired several rounds into his wife’s torso while she sat at the steering wheel, mercilessly killing her in broad daylight.

>Also in Dallas (they sure need anger management classes in Dallas), Moses Egharevba, 45, did not even bother to get a gun. The husband of Grace Egharevba, 35, bludgeoned her to death with a sledge hammer while their seven years old daughter watched and screamed for peace. Mrs. Egharevba’s “sin” was that she became a RN and started to make more money than her husband. This led to her “financial liberation” from a supposedly tight-fisted husband who had not only brought her from Nigeria, but had also funded her nursing school education.

>Like Moses Egharevba, Christopher Ndubuisi of Garland, Texas, (these Texas people!) also did not bother to get a gun. He crept into the bedroom where his wife, Christiana, was sleeping and, with several blows of the sledge hammer, crushed her head. Two years before Christiana was killed, her mother, who had been visiting from Nigeria, was found dead in the bathtub under circumstances believed to be suspicious. Of course, Christiana was a RN whose income dwarfed that of her husband as soon as she graduated from nursing school. The husband believed that his role as a husband and head of the household had been usurped by his wife. Mr. Ndubuisi’s several entreaties to his wife’s family to intercede and bring Christiana back under his control had all failed.

>If circumstances surrounding the death of Christiana’s mother were suspicious, those surrounding the death of a Tennessee woman’s mother were not. Agnes Nwodo, a RN, lived in squalor before her husband, Godfrey Nwodo, rescued her and brought her to the US. He enrolled her in nursing school right away. Upon qualifying as a RN, Mrs. Nwodo assumed “full control” of the household. She brought her mother to live with them against her husband’s wishes. Mrs. Nwodo quickly familiarized herself with US Family Laws and took full advantage of them. Each time the couple argued, the police forced the husband to leave the house whether he had a place to sleep or not. On many occasions, Mr. Nwodo spent days in police cells. Upon divorcing his wife, Mr. Nwodo lost to his wife the house he had owned for almost 20 years before he married her. He also lost custody of their three children to her, with the court awarding him only periodic visitation

rights. Even seeing the children during visitation was always a hassle as the wife would “arrive late to the neutral meeting place and leave early with impunity.” Mr. Nwodo endured so many embarrassing moments from his wife and her mother until he could take it no more. One day, he bought himself a shotgun and killed both his wife and her mother. 

>Caleb Onwudike’s wife, Chinyere Onwudike, 36, became a RN and no longer saw the need to be controlled by her husband. Mr. Onwudike, 41, worked two jobs to send his wife to her dream school upon bringing her to the US from Nigeria. After four years, she qualified as RN. Once she started to make more money than her husband, she began to “call the shots” at home.  She “overruled” her husband on the size and cost of the house they purchased in Burtonsville, Maryland. She began to build a house solely in her name in their native Umuahia town of Abia State, Nigeria, without her husband’s input whatsoever. Mrs. Onwudike came and went “as she liked,” within the US and outside the US. In fact, she once travelled to Nigeria for three weeks “without her husband’s permission” to lavishly bury her father despite her husband’s protestations that they had better things to do with the money. Mrs. Onwudike let her husband know that

this was mostly her money and she would spend it however she wanted. Through her hard work, she had risen to a managerial position at the medical center where she worked. Upon her return from burying her father, her husband got one of her kitchen knives and carved her up like Thanksgiving turkey inside their home on New Year’s Day.

>Death is death no matter how it comes. But the goriest of these maniacal killings is probably the one that happened here in Los Angeles, California. Joseph Mbu, 50, was tired of his RN wife’s “serial disrespect” of him.  The disrespect began as soon as she became a RN.  Gloria Mbu, 40, had once told her husband he must be “smoking crack cocaine” if he thought he could tell her what to do with her money now that she made more money than him. Before she became a RN, Mr. Mbu had been very strict with family finances and was

 

 

 

 

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